2010-03-12

The Honesty Project: Day 1

A very cool idea, started by GodlessGirl over at godlessgirl.com. The challenge is to post one absolutely truthful thing about yourself every day for one week. I think it is an awesome idea. Personally, I think introspection is not only healthy and useful, but can be a great method of clearing out the mental chaff and opening the doors on some creativity. She was kind enough to provide some writing prompts, so for the moment anyway, I’ll use one of hers. That being said, let’s do this.

Have you ever acted in a way that went against your values/morals/ethics? In other words, have you been a hypocrite?

Oh my yes. Not often, at least I don’t think so, but I certainly did recently, deeply wounding my wife in the process. (Figuratively speaking.) I’ve always tried to live by the idea that you may question my decisions, you may question my methods, you may question my conclusions, but you may not question my integrity. I can no longer make this claim, and to be honest, it makes me sad. I allowed my own selfishness and wounded pride to prompt me into behaviors that had I seen a friend doing those very things, I would have given them a stern talking to, and if that didn’t work, likely would have smacked the crap out of them. By allowing myself to become so self-absorbed, I abdicated the the ethical values that I have tried to live by. My behaviors are my own. My issues and actions are likewise my own. I have some serious ground to make up. I hurt the one person who I would sacrifice everything in order to keep from hurting. That is, I believe, the quintessential definition of being a hypocrite. And that is, to my way of thinking at least, unforgivable.

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